Bull dogs have little dogs

Lewis Richardson’s famous 1920 climate science paper ‘The supply of energy from and to Atmospheric Eddies’ was neatly summarized by the poem:

Big whorls have little whorls
That feed on their velocity,
And little whorls have lesser whorls
And so on to viscosity.

Isn’t that a brilliant description of turbulence? So climate scientists have, from time to time, had a nice way with words.

When Tamino announced that he had become Hansen’s bull dog, this little poem came to my mind. The idea of Hansen or Mann, bull dogs themselves, needing their own bull dog seemed redundant. And didn’t Hansen already have his own bull dog, Gavin? (For those in doubt, see how often Gavin has rushed to defend Hansen from any slight.) But redundant or not, it seemed that bull dogs had little dogs.

So here is a modern version of Lewis Richardson’s famous doggerel:

Bull dogs have little dogs
That feed on their ferocity
And little dogs have lesser dogs
And thus to animosity.


110 Comments

  1. jeez
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:01 PM | Permalink | Reply

    You opened the door.

    Climate blogs have little blogs
    That feed on every post
    And little blogs have lesser blogs
    That tend to scream the most.

  2. Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:27 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Originally due to Swift (1733) although he had different organisms in mind!

    The Vermin only teaze and pinch
    Their Foes superior by an Inch.
    So Nat’ralists observe,
    a Flea Hath smaller Fleas that on him prey,
    And these have smaller Fleas to bite ‘em,
    And so proceed ad infinitum.

  3. Gerald Machnee
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Something about poetic justice…..

  4. Sylvain
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Reply

    The question is:

    Why does their science can’t stand by itself.

    If they were such great scientist, they wouldn’t be afraid to be audited because there shouldn’t be anything major wrong with their paper.

    Instead of letting the science speaking for them they act like if they were high priest of the vatican and that they need to convert everyone to their religion.

  5. Pompous Git
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:44 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Aaaah… doggerel, or perhaps bloggerel? :-)

  6. Joel Black
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:53 PM | Permalink | Reply

    What do you call a female bulldog?
    A “Tamino”.

  7. Dave Dardinger
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 7:58 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Big trees have rings…. to little rings
    which tell their age exac-erly.
    But if you want their temperatures
    strip-bark will lie spectac-urly

  8. John M
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 8:07 PM | Permalink | Reply

    re: fleas

    “They say a reasonable amount ‘o
    fleas is good fer a dog — keeps
    him from broodin’ over bein’ a
    dog, mebbe.”

    Edward Westcott

  9. jae
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 8:34 PM | Permalink | Reply

    This is doggone crazy, sayeth the big cat on the counter.

  10. Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 8:38 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Original:

    From Bartlett’s Quotations,

    AUTHOR: Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

    QUOTATION: So, naturalists observe, a flea
    Has smaller fleas that on him prey;
    And these have smaller still to bite ‘em;
    And so proceed ad infinitum.

    ATTRIBUTION: Poetry, a Rhapsody.

    And as an addendum

    Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite ‘em,
    And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.
    And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on;
    While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on.

    – Augustus De Morgan: A Budget of Paradoxes, p. 377.

    Biography:

    Richardson, Lewis Fry
    b. Oct. 11, 1881, Newcastle upon Tyne, Northumberland, Eng.
    d. Sept. 30, 1953, Kilmun, Argyll, Scot.

    From http://www.cs.rice.edu

  11. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 9:45 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Please don’t use this thread (or other threads) to vent. A very light touch is required please,

  12. jeez
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 9:55 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Round two, lighter touch.

    Little ids have bigger ids
    To weather each atrocity
    And bigger ids have greater ids
    And so on to pomposity

  13. voicefromthepeanutgallery
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 10:23 PM | Permalink | Reply

    It has been said, that it is a dog eat dog world…….

  14. Jeff A
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Wasn’t venting, just stating fact. I guess that’s not allowed.

  15. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jul 8, 2008 at 11:00 PM | Permalink | Reply

    #12. THat’s in the spirit of things. Nicely done.

  16. john ritson
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 2:12 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I suggest changing the last word to “anonimty”

  17. john ritson
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 2:12 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I meant to say anonimity

  18. kim
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 2:47 AM | Permalink | Reply

    He sees as through a glass, barkly.
    ======================

  19. Hoi Polloi
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 4:18 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Following Lucia’s blog, why not a Haiku?

    I lie belly-up
    In Global Warming, happier than
    You ever will be

    Look in my eyes and
    Deny it. No human could
    Love Hansen as much I do

    My owners’ mood is
    Mutinous —I lie near their
    Feet. I fart a big one.

    Steve:
    Too coarse.

  20. David Janes
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 4:37 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Anyone know why there’s such a disconnect between what Tamino says in Graph 1 on this page (showing warming since 1988) and Climate Skeptic has says in Graph 1 on this page (showing cooling over the same period)?

  21. Tom C
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 7:11 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Jeez – My compliments on two very nice efforts

  22. LadyGray
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 7:52 AM | Permalink | Reply

    ‘Twas Hansen, and the slithy Mann
    Did Stick and Hockey in the News
    All Bulldogs were the Taminos
    And the Gavins blogged out Truths

    Steve: Nope. Too grumpy.

  23. LadyGray
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 8:15 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Beware the McIntyre, my son
    The Eyes that see, the Blog that kicks
    Beware the CA twits, and shun
    The frumious McKitrick

  24. Cliff Huston
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 8:39 AM | Permalink | Reply

    With apologies to the Bard:

    And Mann’s spirit, ranging for revenge,
    With Hansen by his side come hot from hell,
    Shall in these confines with a monarch’s voice
    Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of consensus!

    Cliff

    Steve: Abject apologies on your part are required. Again, the touch isn;t light enough.

  25. Slightly Amused
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Climate, oh climate – thou art a curse,
    Solutions foretold shall raid thy purse.
    Delta T up or delta T down,
    Makes no difference for the mainstream clown.

    Upon the sides many men despair,
    The significance of the content of air.
    CO2 or H2O,
    Makes no difference for the mainstream crow.

    And thus the news – a terrible beast,
    Proclaims consensus over a feast.
    Floods and heatwaves, hurricanes and death,
    Is where from the media draws its breath.

  26. Jon
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:14 AM | Permalink | Reply

    @David Janes

    Apples and oranges, again. Because those that seem to have a vested interest in denying that the planet is warming will use whichever record supports this point of view best, the “Skeptic” has substituted sat temps for GISTEMP when filling in the graph…

    Yet another valuable contribution to the state of the science. I guess you took my comment in the previous thread to heart and have resorted to just openly mocking climate scientists. Classy as always.

  27. Francois Ouellette
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:15 AM | Permalink | Reply

    This one’s for Lucia:

    Big trends have little trends
    That change on tenths of a degree
    And little trends have lesser trends
    And so on to uncertainty

  28. bernie
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:15 AM | Permalink | Reply

    After that other Bard, Spike Milligan:

    There are holes in the data,
    where the errors come in.
    They are terribly large,
    that’s why the data is thin

  29. lotr
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Sometimes it’s already been said:

    Some say the world will end in fire,
    Some say in ice.
    From what I’ve tasted of desire
    I hold with those who favor fire.
    But if it had to perish twice,
    I think I know enough of hate
    To know that for destruction ice
    Is also great
    And would suffice.

    -Robert Frost

  30. Cliff Huston
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Ok, lighter:

    The truth it does despair -
    As the Masters lack the proof,
    The bull dogs out of the lair
    Make up the lack with woof.

    Steve: Much better.

  31. Kevin B
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Reply

    In the spirit of De Morgan

    Rural adjustments have light adjustments
    applied with robust rigour,
    These adjustments have urban adjustments,
    but now we’ve lost the figures.

    And with a nod to G&S

    I am the very model of a modern climatologist,
    On the rigour and robustness of my results I really must insist,
    And if you question my predictions then you surely must desist,
    For I am the very model of a modern climatologist.

    My data fits my models and my models fit my data too,
    So if you question them then it’s quite fair that I should ignore you,
    For you can only be one of those Climate Change denialists,
    And who are you to question the world’s greatest climatologist.

  32. Barney Frank
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 11:07 AM | Permalink | Reply

    The bear’s in the water
    Steve is a thorn
    CO2′s in the heavens
    All’s wrong with the world

  33. MichaelJ
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 11:31 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Tamino seems to love to loudly bark
    Even when his facts are in the dark
    His warnings of peril are very stark,
    But methinks he is just on an extended lark
    This might get snipped by Steve the Shark
    So I will just conclude this little snark.

  34. jeez
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Little models have bigger models
    Varying scenarios from GHG
    And bigger models have ensembles
    And so on to monstrosity

  35. george h.
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Reply

    There once was a man from the NASA
    Who warned of impending disasta
    He worked hard for years
    To fill us with fears
    But his science was only half-assta

  36. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Big Gores produce little gores
    Who make a mess with the panic
    And little gores have lesser gores
    Who make the rest of us manic

    or:

    Big Macs make little Macs
    Who live on their proofs
    Little Macs have smaller Macs
    Who drive Gavin through the roof

    They’re pretty bad, huh?

  37. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Reply

    How about GW rap lyrics?

    Steve:
    Like the following lyric discussion of the changing seasons?

    Bahamas in the spring, baby, …

  38. jeez
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Nothing is bad with a Big Mac.

    Steve: I presume that you mean that anything is good in comparison.

  39. anotherjohn
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Reply

    AFAIK, ‘bull dog’ should be one word … oh wait, I see what you did thar ;)

  40. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Cherry trees have tasty fruit;
    And pickers need dexterity;
    But not as much as paleos,
    Who claim unprecedentity.

    Seems like there’s a pressing need in climate science for the noun “unprecedentity”.

  41. Lance
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Reply

    My statistical methods are rigorous.
    The heating by CO2 vigorous.

    My results you must trust.
    I proclaim them robust.

    Now go away we’re very imperious.

  42. jae
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Oh, what the heck:

    More OCO makes more Watts
    Which adds more water vapor
    Which feeds back even more Watts
    And cooks humanity.

  43. rhodeymark
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Reply

    They praised the models vigorous
    Deceived the public trust
    The methods weren’t so rigorous
    Results not so robust

    The climate did just as it would
    Earth spun upon its axis
    The audit showed that all was good
    Determined what the facts is

  44. jae
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:01 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Rigor leads to skill
    And skill to robustness
    And if you play conservative
    You will have certainty

  45. Dave Dardinger
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:09 PM | Permalink | Reply

    “It’s broiling!”, said sly VP Gore.
    “and Gyres assemble NAtl ways.”
    All mimsy are the media bores
    and the Mann cast outgrabes.

  46. jeez
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:11 PM | Permalink | Reply

    RE: 38, although I don’t think I’ve had a Big Mac in years, I have fond childhood memories of same. Hmmm…salt, grease, and cheese.

  47. rhodeymark
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:13 PM | Permalink | Reply

    We rhymed the same simultaneously
    From behind our personal fences
    By golly we have another instance of
    A CLIMATE SCIENCE CONSENSUS

  48. Stephen Richards
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:19 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Steve … Unprecendetetly ? is an adverb. BUT as you know you can do what you are trying to achieve here, much better in french. :)

    Steve:
    How about “unprecedentity” (constructed after identity). Much more harmonious. Revised accordingly.

  49. John Goetz
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Reply

    combining records
    a bias method preferred
    bias we suffer

  50. Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 1:32 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Ok.. these are fun.

    Apples, Oranges,
    Bings, Maraschinos, Raniers.
    Climate fruit salad!

  51. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Reply

    snip – sorry Pierre. I’m not sure where the line is, we’re having fun, but you’re over it.

  52. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 2:11 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Maybe 50 Cent can “clean it up”. ;)

  53. Will C.
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 2:35 PM | Permalink | Reply

    snip – any further mentions of Hansen, Mann or Gore are probably going to be snipped.

  54. RomanM
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Darn, I spent a little time on it so I’ll try it anyway! :)

    Briffa, Hansen and Mann one time
    Sailed off in a paper or two —
    Riding a rising temperature clime,
    Which they blamed on CO2.
    “Where is the data, so show us the trick?”
    M & M asked the three.
    “We have come with proxies and a hockey stick
    And secret methodology;
    Unprecedented warmth have we!”
    Said Briffa,
    Hansen,
    And Mann.

  55. Sam Urbinto
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 3:47 PM | Permalink | Reply

    oh wilst some may say an anomaly
    is temperature, and gathered free

    just as a claim that some grand tree
    shows the world, expansively
    yet getting data on such?
    expensively!

    but like a tree doth have a bark
    so do dogs on street or park

    the tree will grow
    with no great care
    just as the ground
    reflects the air

    the A/C units
    do not matter
    and oft times the dog
    a tree
    it will splatter

    the rings, the rings!
    the master shouts
    yet if the jesters call him out
    the tiny ones will heed the call
    and bark and bark until the dark
    perhaps on street
    perhaps the park

    and even lesser ones than these
    perhaps, mayhaps, you’ll call them fleas
    they bite the ankles of the tall
    who tempt them not
    but tempt them all

    “Statistics, no, is not the weather!
    And that and climate don’t go together!
    Out dogs, go hence, and wet the heather!”

    calluna vulgaris it must pay
    it’s getting warmer every day
    the ice will melt and raise the sea
    ’tis more than just calamity

    so do not fret
    and do not fuss
    let loose the dogs
    and go with us

    we are the scientists you know
    give a hee
    with a hoe

  56. jeez
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 4:03 PM | Permalink | Reply

    There once was a Mann from Penn State
    Penned a paper MBH98.
    His claimed moxy with proxies
    Led to a stick known as Hockey
    Please please don’t snip
    State by dog this was ate.

  57. Ray Stein
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 4:07 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Palindrome

    “He e-vets temps (a gasp), met Steve, eh”

  58. Cliff Huston
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 4:48 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Teleconnection, that’s just the bill,
    When faced with inconvenient facts.
    Location and logic – that’s such swill,
    A global reach fixes whatever lacks.

  59. Dave Dardinger
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 4:49 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Dern Steve! I liked Pierre’s rap, and I neither like or know much about rap. Of course, Climate rap has one strike against it just from the name. Or as one Science Fiction writer said, 90% of everything is Climate rap.

  60. PeterS
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 5:14 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Pity little Data -
    Always was she trusted,
    But some men grew to hate her -
    Now she gets ‘adjusted’!

  61. dearieme
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 5:54 PM | Permalink | Reply

    As I was going up the stair
    I met a Mann who wasn’t there
    He wasn’t there again today
    I wish to God he’d go away.

    Steve
    : Nope. Enough about Mann and Hansen and Gore!!!

  62. Steve Moore
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 7:12 PM | Permalink | Reply

    There once was a girl from Nantucket,
    who took all of her temps in a bucket.
    But her bucket was rusting;
    the temps needed adjusting.
    So she threw up her hands and said, “Shuck it!”

  63. Michael Hauber
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 7:34 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I write a poem
    It doesn’t rhyme
    But it means much

  64. Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 8:13 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Over on wattsup, I posted these a while ago regarding the unpublished paper suggesting that sunspots may fade from view around 2015.

    Cycle 24 starts,
    The spots are but tiny specks.
    Then invisible.

    There once was a spot from Hi-Lat
    that looked like a bug had gone splat.
    ..But then the penumbra
    ..did merge with the umbra
    and that made the Sun’s face go flat.

  65. Jim Arndt
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 8:25 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Bulldog insurance,

    Thats Priceless!! LOL

  66. Will C.
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 8:37 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Noooo! Steve please bring mine back…You let the other kids play!

  67. Andrew
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 8:56 PM | Permalink | Reply

    There once was a kid with internet access. He mostly used it to read comics.
    But he soon took an interest in politics.

    The child did read many a blog. And follow through did he.
    Twas through this journey-or perhaps an adventure-that he came across the blog of thee.

    And he said-”What a curious thing this climate change be. It sure brings out all sorts.”
    He lurked for a while and read comments and responses. Blog scuffles did follow and when an one questioned-my you can imagine the retorts!

    To gain understanding he researched and investigated.
    And all the while he saw warming debated!

    After a while the discussion became heated.
    Though temperatures dropped, catastrophe was not yet defeated.

    The young man then decided-as they are wont to do-
    that with this whole thing, he was finally through!

    He took a break from it all, and the got the rest that he needed.
    But his advice for coolness had not gone unheeded.

    And who was this boy, of whom I do speak?
    That information I do choose to leak.

    That kid was me.

  68. Anthony Watts
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 9:57 PM | Permalink | Reply

    This truly brightened my mood on an otherwise terrible day of fires here in Northern California.

    Thanks Steve.

  69. Anthony Watts
    Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Reply

    With apologies to Blood, Sweat, and Tears

    What goes up, must come down
    spinning data, got to go round
    Talking ’bout adjustments it’s a crying sin
    Ride a painted proxy
    Let the spinning data spin

    Got no grant money, and you, you got no home
    Spinning data, all alone
    Talking about your theories and you, you never learn
    Ride a painted proxy
    let the spinning data turn

    Did you find a directing sign
    in the global data trend?
    Would you mind a recursive sign
    Just let it shine, within your mind
    And show you…the numbers… that are real

    Media is waiting, just for you
    spinning data is spinning true
    Drop all your troubles, by the RC site
    Catch a painted proxy
    On the spinning data ride

    Someone is waiting, just for you
    spinning data is spinning true
    Drop all your troubles, by the RC site
    Ride a painted proxy
    Let the spinning data fly

  70. Posted Jul 9, 2008 at 11:37 PM | Permalink | Reply

    There once was a climate scientist from Nantucket
    When asked about his verifying data he said that he chucked it
    He continues to this day in his imperious way
    When asked about CA he says please duck it.

  71. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 1:06 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Steve, that was art – with a social message.

    I wrote some rap lines
    where Gore got ripped
    People do mind
    and so they got snipped

    Anyway, it was fun.

  72. Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 1:37 AM | Permalink | Reply

    The following is a post From ‘dot earth’ yesterday (The New York times)
    Dave Andrews (183) — I am quoting a part of what Tamino recently wrote.
    “And by the way: Anthony Watts and his contributors are grotesquely incompetent at data analysis. Just in case any of his “fans” are reading this, I’ll repeat: as a data analyst, Anthony Watts and his collaborators are the most grossly incompetent data analysts I’ve ever seen anyone take seriously. It’s truly pathetic.”
    I recommend simply ignoring WattsUp. It’ll help preserve your sanity.
    — Posted by David B. Benson

    This thread’s title prompted me to look up the words to the Beatles song ‘Bulldog’

    Big man walking in the park
    Wigwam frightened of the dark
    Some kind of solitude is
    measured out in you

    You think you know but you haven’t got a clue
    You can talk to me
    You can talk to me
    You can talk to me
    If you’re lonely, you can talk to me

    If I remember correctly the Bulldog in the song had two heads. This relates to the Roman God Janus, who had one head turned forward toward modernization and the other stubbornly fastened on the past. I think Tamino is subconsciously troubled about his views as he knows that with his defence of his masters he is trying to hold on to theories that he realises belong to the past. He is obviously asking for our help in showing him the future, as represented by the more forward thinking views expressed on this site.

    Look, I’m a Beatles fan who likes history and has been watching too many re-runs of Frasier as the weather has been so cold. It’s a theory, and as good as most of those I read about AGW! Can I have some research funds please to expand it?

    TonyB

  73. Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 5:02 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Re dearieme says:
    July 9th, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    I met a crisis on the stair.
    Audited, it wasn’t there.
    It wasn’t there again today.
    I wish that it would go away.

    JF

  74. Kenneth Fritsch
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 9:42 AM | Permalink | Reply

    With all due credits and reference to Julian Flood:

    I met a crisis on the stair.
    I wish the audit wasn’t there.
    If it is there again today,
    I wish that it would go away.

  75. Sam Urbinto
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I was glancing at a paper
    Yesterday
    It had some problems
    All of the way
    The maths didn’t fit
    And the logic

    WACK

    I threw that paper out of the back

    I saw another paper that looked kinda cool
    Dope and fresh and stupid crazy maybe
    What the heck
    But the author hesitatin’ like some fool
    Said I couldn’t check
    Their work
    Just standing there frontin’
    Like some jerk

    NO

    Yelling and screaming
    You can’t get my code
    Forget about the data
    You aint no climatisa

    So I said yo, I’m gonna check you out
    That you ain’t actin right, there’s no doubt
    Maybe your work
    Is really very fine
    But then again baby
    Maybe you just swine

    I’ll take a look to find your mistakes
    And while I’m at it
    I’ll bake some cakes

    And core some trees

    While I and I drink me some coff

    ee

    OUT

  76. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Overall, looking at many of these comments, I’d have to say statisticians would be well advised to stay out of the poetry biz!

  77. Tom C
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 1:26 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Big grids have small grids within
    And so on to infinity
    All grids have data needing spin
    Are adjusted with impunity.

  78. Adder
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 1:32 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Brilliant jesters here…

  79. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 1:38 PM | Permalink | Reply

    With apologies to #27 (for Cohn, Lins and Koutsoyannis):

    Big trends have little trends
    That disguise their true identity
    And little trends have lesser trends
    And thus self-similarity.

  80. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 1:40 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Folks, I don’t think that anyone has proven able to get beyond 5 lines yet. So I suggest that you restrct yourselves to short formats and try for one punchy thing (avoiding references to Mann, Hansen and Gore).

  81. Bill F
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 2:17 PM | Permalink | Reply

    With apologies to Mr Shelley…

    And on the pedestal, these words appear:
    My name is Climate Scientist, King of Things,
    Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
    The temperatures just fell away.”

  82. Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 2:26 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Dogs love to Frolic,
    chasing a (hockey) stick.
    Scientists love to ponder,
    which cherry they should pick.
    The economy in the balance,
    is looking rather sick.
    Whether the weather matters,
    the clouds are growing thick.

  83. Tolz
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 5:00 PM | Permalink | Reply

    HE grabs the graph with greedy paws;
    Unmoved by many fatal flaws,
    And points to Man as warming’s cause

    The great unknowing masses’ fears
    Enrich unscrupled men’s careers,
    While protests fall upon deaf ears

  84. Tolz
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 5:15 PM | Permalink | Reply

    ….with apologies to Lord Tennyson

  85. Follow the Money
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 7:25 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Haiku format:

    Retreating glaciers

    IPCC paradox
    Advancing ice too

  86. Follow the Money
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 7:36 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Retreating glaciers

    IPCC paradox

    Advancing ice too

    —————–

    I repeat to fix the spacing because a Haiku should look right too.

    Mr. Watts’ at #70 is great among many

  87. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 9:05 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Trails and scales and and AquaSat
    And cirrus playing in the strat
    Heat trapping mist at every lat
    I’ve looked at clouds that way

    But now they only block the sun
    They rain and snow on everyone
    So may grants I could have won
    But clouds got in my way

  88. jeez
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 9:35 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Mike the Merry Temperature Sensor.

  89. Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 9:56 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Global trends have regional trends,
    that matter to humanity.
    Regional trends have regional causes?
    No – that would be just silly!

  90. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 10:03 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Climate blogs have little blogs
    That feed on every post
    And little blogs have lesser blogs
    That tend to scream the most.

    And climate blogs have metalogs
    With peer reviews to cite ‘em
    And peer reviews got naught to lose
    So get your pals to write ‘em.

    Big trees have rings…. to little rings
    which tell their age exac-erly.
    But if you want their temperatures
    strip-bark will lie spectac-urly

    And big rings have bigger things
    That calibrate in chorus
    And data weighting, correlating
    On into the forest

    Little ids have bigger ids
    To weather each atrocity
    And bigger ids have greater ids
    And so on to pomposity

    And greater ids have pater ids
    Which merge into their egos
    From superegos to duperegos
    And so it goes, and so it goes

    Big grids have small grids within
    And so on to infinity
    All grids have data needing spin
    Are adjusted with impunity.

    And big grids have rigged grids
    of data which we suture
    And thus adjust and thus project
    And on into the future

    Big trends have little trends
    That disguise their true identity
    And little trends have lesser trends
    And thus self-similarity.

    And great trends have greater friends
    To view with impropriety
    from means to means and ends to ends
    So to homogeneity

  91. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 10:12 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Mike the Merry Temperature Sensor.

    I am but a poor sinner, snipped by the hands of an angry jeez.

  92. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Global trends have regional trends,
    that matter to humanity.
    Regional trends have regional causes?
    No – that would be just silly!

    And global trends have open ends
    And SUVs on Mars
    The Khyber belt mankind will melt
    And so on to the stars

  93. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 10:54 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Bull dogs have little dogs
    That feed on their ferocity
    And little dogs have lesser dogs
    And thus to animosity.

    But bull dogs have pit bull dogs
    Like Mac and Rev and Spencer
    To dog the fame of [can't be named
    or else this post gets censored]

  94. jeez
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I don’t mod this site Evan, I simply replied and after divine zamobonation the vestigial punchline is all that remains.

  95. jeez
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:01 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I’m sorry I still crack up at: It is the the very model of a modern maunder minimum, you are a hoot Evan.

    Steve- that is a great turn of phrase.

  96. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:05 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Evan definitely wins the coveted Climate Audit bard award.

    Big bards have …

  97. jeez
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:06 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Hands down–although I did solve the snipped riddle.

    Steve:
    I don’t recall snipping the riddle. Somebody should elaborate the “model of a modern maunder minimum” as well.

  98. jeez
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:12 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Big Bards have little bards
    Who emulate their writing
    And little bards spawn retards
    Who make it less exciting

  99. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Rural adjustments have light adjustments
    applied with robust rigour,
    These adjustments have urban adjustments,
    but now we’ve lost the figures.

    From rural SHAP to carbon cap
    we’ll wing it for a while, yet
    (Don’t tell the boss the figure’s lost
    Just feed it into FILENET)

  100. PaddikJ
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:24 PM | Permalink | Reply

    With data sparse – uninfinitum
    The Team adjusted much, and eyed ‘em:

    Pestilence & drought would come
    Doubters were dismissed as dumb

    (Fleas, in plaguery to bite ‘em
    But plagiary! – another item)

    Chihuahuas snap at stubborn skeptics,
    Reason stands (tho’ at times dyspeptic)

    Huxley – Darwin’s bulldog, he;
    Chihuahuas nip at smaller fleas

  101. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 10, 2008 at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Big Bards have little bards
    Who emulate their writing
    And little bards spawn retards
    Who make it less exciting

    I will ignore hithertofore
    Such imprecate stigmatic
    (Responding to such hounding
    Would be infradigmatic)

  102. Evan Jones
    Posted Jul 11, 2008 at 12:46 AM | Permalink | Reply

    It is the very model of a modern Maunder minimum
    (I wanted to be plainer but I couldn’t find a Synonym)
    And thanks to modern media it’s not believed by anyone
    The sun has done a bunk and we will freeze for a millennium
    And so I’ll see you later; I am off for the equator
    For is the very model of a modern Major-minimum

    (Well, it’s a start.)

  103. Pierre Gosselin
    Posted Jul 11, 2008 at 2:31 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Big poets inspire us little poets
    Who live on very high hopes
    Us little poets may not know it
    Surely we must look like dopes

    Yet, miners screen mountains of sand
    Often until they are old
    And what is left in a worn hand
    Perhaps a small fortune in gold

  104. Geoff Sherrington
    Posted Jul 11, 2008 at 4:32 AM | Permalink | Reply

    “The Lotos-Eaters”, to retain the original spelling, is a celebrated poem written in 1833 by Alfred Lord Tennyson. Tennyson envisages several of the main points of Global Warming and presents them in cryptic poetry with allusion. I have appended some explanatory comment.

    “Courage!” he said, and pointed toward the land,
    “This mounting wave will roll us shoreward soon.”
    Inaugural IPCC rally call.
    In the afternoon they came unto a land
    In which it seemèd always afternoon.
    Query Time of Observation Bias TOBS.
    All round the coast the languid air did swoon,
    Breathing like one that hath a weary dream.
    Anthony Watts site class 5.
    Full-faced above the valley stood the moon;
    And, like a downward smoke, the slender stream
    Along the cliff to fall and pause and fall did seem.
    Complex motion, Navier Stokes.

    A land of streams! some, like a downward smoke,
    Slow-dropping veils of thinnest lawn, did go;
    Top candidate for stats model grant.
    And some through wavering lights and shadows broke,
    Rolling a slumbrous sheet of foam below.
    Increasing storm activity.
    They saw the gleaming river seaward flow
    From the inner land; far off, three mountaintops,
    Three silent pinnacles of aged snow,
    Glacial retreat.
    Stood sunset-flush’d; and, dew’d with showery drops,
    Up-clomb the shadowy pine above the woven copse.
    Bristlecone chronology uncertainty.

    The charmèd sunset linger’d low adown
    In the red West: through mountain clefts the dale
    Was seen far inland, and the yellow down
    Correction for lapse rate.
    Border’d with palm, and many a winding vale
    And meadow, set with slender galingale;
    A land where all things always seem’d the same!
    Adjustment-free term of climate records.
    And round about the keel with faces pale,
    Dark faces pale against that rosy flame,
    The mild-eyed melancholy Lotos-eaters came.
    Formulation meeting, emissions trading.

    Branches they bore of that enchanted stem,
    Laden with flower and fruit, whereof they gave
    Carbon dioxide fertilization.
    To each, but whoso did receive of them
    And taste, to him the gushing of the wave
    Far far away did seem to mourn and rave
    Authors of AGW papers affected.
    On alien shores; and if his fellow spake,
    His voice was thin, as voices from the grave;
    Unable to release raw data (RIP).
    And deep-asleep he seem’d, yet all awake,
    And music in his ears his beating heart did make.
    Poor signal:noise ratio.

    They sat them down upon the yellow sand,
    Between the sun and moon upon the shore;
    Hoping for sea level rise.
    And sweet it was to dream of Fatherland,
    Of child, and wife, and slave; but evermore
    Most weary seem’d the sea, weary the oar,
    Oar shaped like hockey stick.
    Weary the wandering fields of barren foam,
    Then some one said, “We will return no more”;
    Rehabilitation rebate ceases.
    And all at once they sang, “Our island home
    Is far beyond the wave; we will no longer roam.”
    Publish only in acquiescing journals.

  105. jae
    Posted Jul 11, 2008 at 8:05 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I just can’t give up yet:

    There was once a man from Phil
    Who claimed to have great skill
    He published a relation
    That wanted for correlation
    And it was finally pronounced as nil.

  106. Jim Arndt
    Posted Jul 11, 2008 at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Bulldog insurance is priceless.

  107. Jim Arndt
    Posted Jul 12, 2008 at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Steve I think you have a bot freely roaming your site here

  108. joy
    Posted Jul 24, 2008 at 6:16 AM | Permalink | Reply

    fantastic! What shameless humour.

  109. Dave Dardinger
    Posted Jul 24, 2008 at 7:41 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Don’t think we’ve had a double dactyl yet in this thread

    Anthropic CO2
    Stephen A* McIntyre
    checks out the facts on his popular blog
    some days he’s busy and some days he’s absent while
    anthropogenicly
    coring a log.

    * or whatever your middle initial is

  110. Posted Aug 17, 2010 at 7:16 AM | Permalink | Reply

    No one could have put that better
    bull dogs have little dogs
    That feed on their ferocity
    And little dogs have lesser dogs
    And thus to animosity.

    and you received some really good comments keep up the good work.

4 Trackbacks

  1. By Climate Dog Haiku | The Blackboard on Jul 9, 2008 at 1:15 PM

    [...] SteveM started this. . . [...]

  2. [...] Comment on Bull dogs have little dogs by Steve MooreThere once was a girl from Nantucket, who took all of her temps in a bucket. But her bucket was rusting; the temps needed adjusting. So she threw up her hands and said, “Shuck it!” [...]

  3. By Mo Money, Mo Problems « Climate Audit on May 12, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    [...] they settle for “Bahamas in the spring” (Jones et al 1996 – see passim citation here – when they can also have Tahiti (Jones [...]

  4. [...] they settle for “Bahamas in a spring” (Jones et al 1996 during 0:36 – see passim reference here – when they can also have Tahiti (Jones [...]

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