Lewis Richardson’s famous 1920 climate science paper ‘The supply of energy from and to Atmospheric Eddies’ was neatly summarized by the poem:
Big whorls have little whorls
That feed on their velocity,
And little whorls have lesser whorls
And so on to viscosity.
Isn’t that a brilliant description of turbulence? So climate scientists have, from time to time, had a nice way with words.
When Tamino announced that he had become Hansen’s bull dog, this little poem came to my mind. The idea of Hansen or Mann, bull dogs themselves, needing their own bull dog seemed redundant. And didn’t Hansen already have his own bull dog, Gavin? (For those in doubt, see how often Gavin has rushed to defend Hansen from any slight.) But redundant or not, it seemed that bull dogs had little dogs.
So here is a modern version of Lewis Richardson’s famous doggerel:
Bull dogs have little dogs
That feed on their ferocity
And little dogs have lesser dogs
And thus to animosity.
Climate Audit 
110 Comments
You opened the door.
Climate blogs have little blogs
That feed on every post
And little blogs have lesser blogs
That tend to scream the most.
Originally due to Swift (1733) although he had different organisms in mind!
The Vermin only teaze and pinch
Their Foes superior by an Inch.
So Nat’ralists observe,
a Flea Hath smaller Fleas that on him prey,
And these have smaller Fleas to bite ’em,
And so proceed ad infinitum.
Something about poetic justice…..
The question is:
Why does their science can’t stand by itself.
If they were such great scientist, they wouldn’t be afraid to be audited because there shouldn’t be anything major wrong with their paper.
Instead of letting the science speaking for them they act like if they were high priest of the vatican and that they need to convert everyone to their religion.
Aaaah… doggerel, or perhaps bloggerel? 🙂
What do you call a female bulldog?
A “Tamino”.
Big trees have rings…. to little rings
which tell their age exac-erly.
But if you want their temperatures
strip-bark will lie spectac-urly
re: fleas
“They say a reasonable amount ‘o
fleas is good fer a dog — keeps
him from broodin’ over bein’ a
dog, mebbe.”
Edward Westcott
This is doggone crazy, sayeth the big cat on the counter.
Original:
From Bartlett’s Quotations,
AUTHOR: Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
QUOTATION: So, naturalists observe, a flea
Has smaller fleas that on him prey;
And these have smaller still to bite ’em;
And so proceed ad infinitum.
ATTRIBUTION: Poetry, a Rhapsody.
And as an addendum
Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite ’em,
And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.
And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on;
While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on.
— Augustus De Morgan: A Budget of Paradoxes, p. 377.
Biography:
Richardson, Lewis Fry
b. Oct. 11, 1881, Newcastle upon Tyne, Northumberland, Eng.
d. Sept. 30, 1953, Kilmun, Argyll, Scot.
From http://www.cs.rice.edu
Please don’t use this thread (or other threads) to vent. A very light touch is required please,
Round two, lighter touch.
Little ids have bigger ids
To weather each atrocity
And bigger ids have greater ids
And so on to pomposity
It has been said, that it is a dog eat dog world…….
Wasn’t venting, just stating fact. I guess that’s not allowed.
#12. THat’s in the spirit of things. Nicely done.
I suggest changing the last word to “anonimty”
I meant to say anonimity
He sees as through a glass, barkly.
======================
Following Lucia’s blog, why not a Haiku?
I lie belly-up
In Global Warming, happier than
You ever will be
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love Hansen as much I do
My owners’ mood is
Mutinous —I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.
Steve: Too coarse.
Anyone know why there’s such a disconnect between what Tamino says in Graph 1 on this page (showing warming since 1988) and Climate Skeptic has says in Graph 1 on this page (showing cooling over the same period)?
Jeez – My compliments on two very nice efforts
‘Twas Hansen, and the slithy Mann
Did Stick and Hockey in the News
All Bulldogs were the Taminos
And the Gavins blogged out Truths
Steve: Nope. Too grumpy.
Beware the McIntyre, my son
The Eyes that see, the Blog that kicks
Beware the CA twits, and shun
The frumious McKitrick
With apologies to the Bard:
And Mann’s spirit, ranging for revenge,
With Hansen by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch’s voice
Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of consensus!
Cliff
Steve: Abject apologies on your part are required. Again, the touch isn;t light enough.
Climate, oh climate – thou art a curse,
Solutions foretold shall raid thy purse.
Delta T up or delta T down,
Makes no difference for the mainstream clown.
Upon the sides many men despair,
The significance of the content of air.
CO2 or H2O,
Makes no difference for the mainstream crow.
And thus the news – a terrible beast,
Proclaims consensus over a feast.
Floods and heatwaves, hurricanes and death,
Is where from the media draws its breath.
@David Janes
Apples and oranges, again. Because those that seem to have a vested interest in denying that the planet is warming will use whichever record supports this point of view best, the “Skeptic” has substituted sat temps for GISTEMP when filling in the graph…
Yet another valuable contribution to the state of the science. I guess you took my comment in the previous thread to heart and have resorted to just openly mocking climate scientists. Classy as always.
This one’s for Lucia:
Big trends have little trends
That change on tenths of a degree
And little trends have lesser trends
And so on to uncertainty
After that other Bard, Spike Milligan:
There are holes in the data,
where the errors come in.
They are terribly large,
that’s why the data is thin
Sometimes it’s already been said:
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost
Ok, lighter:
The truth it does despair –
As the Masters lack the proof,
The bull dogs out of the lair
Make up the lack with woof.
Steve: Much better.
In the spirit of De Morgan
Rural adjustments have light adjustments
applied with robust rigour,
These adjustments have urban adjustments,
but now we’ve lost the figures.
And with a nod to G&S
I am the very model of a modern climatologist,
On the rigour and robustness of my results I really must insist,
And if you question my predictions then you surely must desist,
For I am the very model of a modern climatologist.
My data fits my models and my models fit my data too,
So if you question them then it’s quite fair that I should ignore you,
For you can only be one of those Climate Change denialists,
And who are you to question the world’s greatest climatologist.
The bear’s in the water
Steve is a thorn
CO2’s in the heavens
All’s wrong with the world
Tamino seems to love to loudly bark
Even when his facts are in the dark
His warnings of peril are very stark,
But methinks he is just on an extended lark
This might get snipped by Steve the Shark
So I will just conclude this little snark.
Little models have bigger models
Varying scenarios from GHG
And bigger models have ensembles
And so on to monstrosity
There once was a man from the NASA
Who warned of impending disasta
He worked hard for years
To fill us with fears
But his science was only half-assta
Big Gores produce little gores
Who make a mess with the panic
And little gores have lesser gores
Who make the rest of us manic
or:
Big Macs make little Macs
Who live on their proofs
Little Macs have smaller Macs
Who drive Gavin through the roof
They’re pretty bad, huh?
How about GW rap lyrics?
Steve:
Like the following lyric discussion of the changing seasons?
Nothing is bad with a Big Mac.
Steve: I presume that you mean that anything is good in comparison.
AFAIK, ‘bull dog’ should be one word … oh wait, I see what you did thar 😉
Seems like there’s a pressing need in climate science for the noun “unprecedentity”.
My statistical methods are rigorous.
The heating by CO2 vigorous.
My results you must trust.
I proclaim them robust.
Now go away we’re very imperious.
Oh, what the heck:
More OCO makes more Watts
Which adds more water vapor
Which feeds back even more Watts
And cooks humanity.
They praised the models vigorous
Deceived the public trust
The methods weren’t so rigorous
Results not so robust
The climate did just as it would
Earth spun upon its axis
The audit showed that all was good
Determined what the facts is
Rigor leads to skill
And skill to robustness
And if you play conservative
You will have certainty
“It’s broiling!”, said sly VP Gore.
“and Gyres assemble NAtl ways.”
All mimsy are the media bores
and the Mann cast outgrabes.
RE: 38, although I don’t think I’ve had a Big Mac in years, I have fond childhood memories of same. Hmmm…salt, grease, and cheese.
We rhymed the same simultaneously
From behind our personal fences
By golly we have another instance of
A CLIMATE SCIENCE CONSENSUS
Steve … Unprecendetetly ? is an adverb. BUT as you know you can do what you are trying to achieve here, much better in french. 🙂
Steve: How about “unprecedentity” (constructed after identity). Much more harmonious. Revised accordingly.
combining records
a bias method preferred
bias we suffer
Ok.. these are fun.
Apples, Oranges,
Bings, Maraschinos, Raniers.
Climate fruit salad!
snip – sorry Pierre. I’m not sure where the line is, we’re having fun, but you’re over it.
Maybe 50 Cent can “clean it up”. 😉
snip – any further mentions of Hansen, Mann or Gore are probably going to be snipped.
Darn, I spent a little time on it so I’ll try it anyway! 🙂
Briffa, Hansen and Mann one time
Sailed off in a paper or two —
Riding a rising temperature clime,
Which they blamed on CO2.
“Where is the data, so show us the trick?”
M & M asked the three.
“We have come with proxies and a hockey stick
And secret methodology;
Unprecedented warmth have we!”
Said Briffa,
Hansen,
And Mann.
oh wilst some may say an anomaly
is temperature, and gathered free
just as a claim that some grand tree
shows the world, expansively
yet getting data on such?
expensively!
but like a tree doth have a bark
so do dogs on street or park
the tree will grow
with no great care
just as the ground
reflects the air
the A/C units
do not matter
and oft times the dog
a tree
it will splatter
the rings, the rings!
the master shouts
yet if the jesters call him out
the tiny ones will heed the call
and bark and bark until the dark
perhaps on street
perhaps the park
and even lesser ones than these
perhaps, mayhaps, you’ll call them fleas
they bite the ankles of the tall
who tempt them not
but tempt them all
“Statistics, no, is not the weather!
And that and climate don’t go together!
Out dogs, go hence, and wet the heather!”
calluna vulgaris it must pay
it’s getting warmer every day
the ice will melt and raise the sea
’tis more than just calamity
so do not fret
and do not fuss
let loose the dogs
and go with us
we are the scientists you know
give a hee
with a hoe
There once was a Mann from Penn State
Penned a paper MBH98.
His claimed moxy with proxies
Led to a stick known as Hockey
Please please don’t snip
State by dog this was ate.
Palindrome
“He e-vets temps (a gasp), met Steve, eh”
Teleconnection, that’s just the bill,
When faced with inconvenient facts.
Location and logic – that’s such swill,
A global reach fixes whatever lacks.
Dern Steve! I liked Pierre’s rap, and I neither like or know much about rap. Of course, Climate rap has one strike against it just from the name. Or as one Science Fiction writer said, 90% of everything is Climate rap.
Pity little Data –
Always was she trusted,
But some men grew to hate her –
Now she gets ‘adjusted’!
As I was going up the stair
I met a Mann who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish to God he’d go away.
Steve: Nope. Enough about Mann and Hansen and Gore!!!
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
who took all of her temps in a bucket.
But her bucket was rusting;
the temps needed adjusting.
So she threw up her hands and said, “Shuck it!”
I write a poem
It doesn’t rhyme
But it means much
Over on wattsup, I posted these a while ago regarding the unpublished paper suggesting that sunspots may fade from view around 2015.
Cycle 24 starts,
The spots are but tiny specks.
Then invisible.
There once was a spot from Hi-Lat
that looked like a bug had gone splat.
..But then the penumbra
..did merge with the umbra
and that made the Sun’s face go flat.
Bulldog insurance,
Thats Priceless!! LOL
Noooo! Steve please bring mine back…You let the other kids play!
There once was a kid with internet access. He mostly used it to read comics.
But he soon took an interest in politics.
The child did read many a blog. And follow through did he.
Twas through this journey-or perhaps an adventure-that he came across the blog of thee.
And he said-“What a curious thing this climate change be. It sure brings out all sorts.”
He lurked for a while and read comments and responses. Blog scuffles did follow and when an one questioned-my you can imagine the retorts!
To gain understanding he researched and investigated.
And all the while he saw warming debated!
After a while the discussion became heated.
Though temperatures dropped, catastrophe was not yet defeated.
The young man then decided-as they are wont to do-
that with this whole thing, he was finally through!
He took a break from it all, and the got the rest that he needed.
But his advice for coolness had not gone unheeded.
And who was this boy, of whom I do speak?
That information I do choose to leak.
That kid was me.
This truly brightened my mood on an otherwise terrible day of fires here in Northern California.
Thanks Steve.
With apologies to Blood, Sweat, and Tears
What goes up, must come down
spinning data, got to go round
Talking ’bout adjustments it’s a crying sin
Ride a painted proxy
Let the spinning data spin
Got no grant money, and you, you got no home
Spinning data, all alone
Talking about your theories and you, you never learn
Ride a painted proxy
let the spinning data turn
Did you find a directing sign
in the global data trend?
Would you mind a recursive sign
Just let it shine, within your mind
And show you…the numbers… that are real
Media is waiting, just for you
spinning data is spinning true
Drop all your troubles, by the RC site
Catch a painted proxy
On the spinning data ride
Someone is waiting, just for you
spinning data is spinning true
Drop all your troubles, by the RC site
Ride a painted proxy
Let the spinning data fly
There once was a climate scientist from Nantucket
When asked about his verifying data he said that he chucked it
He continues to this day in his imperious way
When asked about CA he says please duck it.
Steve, that was art – with a social message.
I wrote some rap lines
where Gore got ripped
People do mind
and so they got snipped
Anyway, it was fun.
The following is a post From ‘dot earth’ yesterday (The New York times)
Dave Andrews (183) — I am quoting a part of what Tamino recently wrote.
“And by the way: Anthony Watts and his contributors are grotesquely incompetent at data analysis. Just in case any of his “fans” are reading this, I’ll repeat: as a data analyst, Anthony Watts and his collaborators are the most grossly incompetent data analysts I’ve ever seen anyone take seriously. It’s truly pathetic.”
I recommend simply ignoring WattsUp. It’ll help preserve your sanity.
— Posted by David B. Benson
This thread’s title prompted me to look up the words to the Beatles song ‘Bulldog’
Big man walking in the park
Wigwam frightened of the dark
Some kind of solitude is
measured out in you
You think you know but you haven’t got a clue
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
If you’re lonely, you can talk to me
If I remember correctly the Bulldog in the song had two heads. This relates to the Roman God Janus, who had one head turned forward toward modernization and the other stubbornly fastened on the past. I think Tamino is subconsciously troubled about his views as he knows that with his defence of his masters he is trying to hold on to theories that he realises belong to the past. He is obviously asking for our help in showing him the future, as represented by the more forward thinking views expressed on this site.
Look, I’m a Beatles fan who likes history and has been watching too many re-runs of Frasier as the weather has been so cold. It’s a theory, and as good as most of those I read about AGW! Can I have some research funds please to expand it?
TonyB
Re dearieme says:
July 9th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I met a crisis on the stair.
Audited, it wasn’t there.
It wasn’t there again today.
I wish that it would go away.
JF
With all due credits and reference to Julian Flood:
I met a crisis on the stair.
I wish the audit wasn’t there.
If it is there again today,
I wish that it would go away.
I was glancing at a paper
Yesterday
It had some problems
All of the way
The maths didn’t fit
And the logic
WACK
I threw that paper out of the back
I saw another paper that looked kinda cool
Dope and fresh and stupid crazy maybe
What the heck
But the author hesitatin’ like some fool
Said I couldn’t check
Their work
Just standing there frontin’
Like some jerk
NO
Yelling and screaming
You can’t get my code
Forget about the data
You aint no climatisa
So I said yo, I’m gonna check you out
That you ain’t actin right, there’s no doubt
Maybe your work
Is really very fine
But then again baby
Maybe you just swine
I’ll take a look to find your mistakes
And while I’m at it
I’ll bake some cakes
And core some trees
While I and I drink me some coff
ee
OUT
Overall, looking at many of these comments, I’d have to say statisticians would be well advised to stay out of the poetry biz!
Big grids have small grids within
And so on to infinity
All grids have data needing spin
Are adjusted with impunity.
Brilliant jesters here…
With apologies to #27 (for Cohn, Lins and Koutsoyannis):
Big trends have little trends
That disguise their true identity
And little trends have lesser trends
And thus self-similarity.
Folks, I don’t think that anyone has proven able to get beyond 5 lines yet. So I suggest that you restrct yourselves to short formats and try for one punchy thing (avoiding references to Mann, Hansen and Gore).
With apologies to Mr Shelley…
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Climate Scientist, King of Things,
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The temperatures just fell away.”
Dogs love to Frolic,
chasing a (hockey) stick.
Scientists love to ponder,
which cherry they should pick.
The economy in the balance,
is looking rather sick.
Whether the weather matters,
the clouds are growing thick.
HE grabs the graph with greedy paws;
Unmoved by many fatal flaws,
And points to Man as warming’s cause
The great unknowing masses’ fears
Enrich unscrupled men’s careers,
While protests fall upon deaf ears
….with apologies to Lord Tennyson
Haiku format:
Retreating glaciers
IPCC paradox
Advancing ice too
Retreating glaciers
IPCC paradox
Advancing ice too
—————–
I repeat to fix the spacing because a Haiku should look right too.
Mr. Watts’ at #70 is great among many
Trails and scales and and AquaSat
And cirrus playing in the strat
Heat trapping mist at every lat
I’ve looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So may grants I could have won
But clouds got in my way
Mike the Merry Temperature Sensor.
Global trends have regional trends,
that matter to humanity.
Regional trends have regional causes?
No – that would be just silly!
And climate blogs have metalogs
With peer reviews to cite ’em
And peer reviews got naught to lose
So get your pals to write ’em.
And big rings have bigger things
That calibrate in chorus
And data weighting, correlating
On into the forest
And greater ids have pater ids
Which merge into their egos
From superegos to duperegos
And so it goes, and so it goes
And big grids have rigged grids
of data which we suture
And thus adjust and thus project
And on into the future
And great trends have greater friends
To view with impropriety
from means to means and ends to ends
So to homogeneity
I am but a poor sinner, snipped by the hands of an angry jeez.
And global trends have open ends
And SUVs on Mars
The Khyber belt mankind will melt
And so on to the stars
But bull dogs have pit bull dogs
Like Mac and Rev and Spencer
To dog the fame of [can’t be named
or else this post gets censored]
I don’t mod this site Evan, I simply replied and after divine zamobonation the vestigial punchline is all that remains.
I’m sorry I still crack up at: It is the the very model of a modern maunder minimum, you are a hoot Evan.
Steve– that is a great turn of phrase.
Evan definitely wins the coveted Climate Audit bard award.
Hands down–although I did solve the snipped riddle.
Steve: I don’t recall snipping the riddle. Somebody should elaborate the “model of a modern maunder minimum” as well.
Big Bards have little bards
Who emulate their writing
And little bards spawn retards
Who make it less exciting
From rural SHAP to carbon cap
we’ll wing it for a while, yet
(Don’t tell the boss the figure’s lost
Just feed it into FILENET)
With data sparse – uninfinitum
The Team adjusted much, and eyed ’em:
Pestilence & drought would come
Doubters were dismissed as dumb
(Fleas, in plaguery to bite ’em
But plagiary! – another item)
Chihuahuas snap at stubborn skeptics,
Reason stands (tho’ at times dyspeptic)
Huxley – Darwin’s bulldog, he;
Chihuahuas nip at smaller fleas
I will ignore hithertofore
Such imprecate stigmatic
(Responding to such hounding
Would be infradigmatic)
It is the very model of a modern Maunder minimum
(I wanted to be plainer but I couldn’t find a Synonym)
And thanks to modern media it’s not believed by anyone
The sun has done a bunk and we will freeze for a millennium
And so I’ll see you later; I am off for the equator
For is the very model of a modern Major-minimum
(Well, it’s a start.)
Big poets inspire us little poets
Who live on very high hopes
Us little poets may not know it
Surely we must look like dopes
Yet, miners screen mountains of sand
Often until they are old
And what is left in a worn hand
Perhaps a small fortune in gold
“The Lotos-Eaters”, to retain the original spelling, is a celebrated poem written in 1833 by Alfred Lord Tennyson. Tennyson envisages several of the main points of Global Warming and presents them in cryptic poetry with allusion. I have appended some explanatory comment.
“Courage!” he said, and pointed toward the land,
“This mounting wave will roll us shoreward soon.”
Inaugural IPCC rally call.
In the afternoon they came unto a land
In which it seemèd always afternoon.
Query Time of Observation Bias TOBS.
All round the coast the languid air did swoon,
Breathing like one that hath a weary dream.
Anthony Watts site class 5.
Full-faced above the valley stood the moon;
And, like a downward smoke, the slender stream
Along the cliff to fall and pause and fall did seem.
Complex motion, Navier Stokes.
A land of streams! some, like a downward smoke,
Slow-dropping veils of thinnest lawn, did go;
Top candidate for stats model grant.
And some through wavering lights and shadows broke,
Rolling a slumbrous sheet of foam below.
Increasing storm activity.
They saw the gleaming river seaward flow
From the inner land; far off, three mountaintops,
Three silent pinnacles of aged snow,
Glacial retreat.
Stood sunset-flush’d; and, dew’d with showery drops,
Up-clomb the shadowy pine above the woven copse.
Bristlecone chronology uncertainty.
The charmèd sunset linger’d low adown
In the red West: through mountain clefts the dale
Was seen far inland, and the yellow down
Correction for lapse rate.
Border’d with palm, and many a winding vale
And meadow, set with slender galingale;
A land where all things always seem’d the same!
Adjustment-free term of climate records.
And round about the keel with faces pale,
Dark faces pale against that rosy flame,
The mild-eyed melancholy Lotos-eaters came.
Formulation meeting, emissions trading.
Branches they bore of that enchanted stem,
Laden with flower and fruit, whereof they gave
Carbon dioxide fertilization.
To each, but whoso did receive of them
And taste, to him the gushing of the wave
Far far away did seem to mourn and rave
Authors of AGW papers affected.
On alien shores; and if his fellow spake,
His voice was thin, as voices from the grave;
Unable to release raw data (RIP).
And deep-asleep he seem’d, yet all awake,
And music in his ears his beating heart did make.
Poor signal:noise ratio.
They sat them down upon the yellow sand,
Between the sun and moon upon the shore;
Hoping for sea level rise.
And sweet it was to dream of Fatherland,
Of child, and wife, and slave; but evermore
Most weary seem’d the sea, weary the oar,
Oar shaped like hockey stick.
Weary the wandering fields of barren foam,
Then some one said, “We will return no more”;
Rehabilitation rebate ceases.
And all at once they sang, “Our island home
Is far beyond the wave; we will no longer roam.”
Publish only in acquiescing journals.
I just can’t give up yet:
There was once a man from Phil
Who claimed to have great skill
He published a relation
That wanted for correlation
And it was finally pronounced as nil.
Bulldog insurance is priceless.
Steve I think you have a bot freely roaming your site here
fantastic! What shameless humour.
Don’t think we’ve had a double dactyl yet in this thread
Anthropic CO2
Stephen A* McIntyre
checks out the facts on his popular blog
some days he’s busy and some days he’s absent while
anthropogenicly
coring a log.
* or whatever your middle initial is
No one could have put that better
bull dogs have little dogs
That feed on their ferocity
And little dogs have lesser dogs
And thus to animosity.
and you received some really good comments keep up the good work.
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