The IPCC’s Love Guru

You can’t make this stuff up.

Rajendra Pachauri was apparently too busy to check into glaciergate problems in December. We now know why. Instead of proofreading climate articles, Pachauri has been busy launching a softcore novel about the sexual adventures of a climate expert in his late 60s
( WUWT here, Telegraph here, Indian Times here. The Telegraph:

Return to Almora, published in Dr Pachauri’s native India earlier this month, tells the story of Sanjay Nath, an academic in his 60s reminiscing on his “spiritual journey” through India, Peru and the US.

On the way he encounters, among others, Shirley MacLaine, the actress, who appears as a character in the book. While relations between Sanjay and MacLaine remain platonic, he enjoys sex – a lot of sex – with a lot of women.

In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter.

The book, which makes reference to the Kama Sutra, starts promisingly enough as it tells the story of a climate expert with a lament for the denuded mountain slopes of Nainital, in northern India, where deforestation by the timber mafia and politicians has “endangered the fragile ecosystem”.

The Telegraph continues:

But talk of “denuding” is a clue of what is to come.

By page 16, Sanjay is ready for his first liaison with May in a hotel room in Nainital. “She then led him into the bedroom,” writes Dr Pachauri.

“She removed her gown, slipped off her nightie and slid under the quilt on his bed… Sanjay put his arms around her and kissed her, first with quick caresses and then the kisses becoming longer and more passionate.

“May slipped his clothes off one by one, removing her lips from his for no more than a second or two.

“Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sandy, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated?’.”

More follows, including Sanjay and friends queuing to have sexual encounters with Sajni, an impoverished but willing local: “Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before … He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”

Sadly for Sanjay, writes Dr Pachauri, “the excitement got the better of him, before he could even get started”.

While teaching meditation to women in the US, Sanjay can once more barely contain his ardour. Again, breasts – usually heaving or else voluptuous – are thrust to the fore.

“He enjoyed the sensation of gently pushing Susan’s shoulders back a few inches, an action that served to lift her breasts even higher,” writes Dr Pachauri. “He was excited by the sight of her heaving breasts, as she breathed in and out deeply.”

A friend of Susan is taken to a motel by Sanjay but only after he has fondled her breasts – “which he just could not let go of” – inadvertently sounding the car horn at the same time.

Other passages in the novel involve group sex and more risqué sexual practices.

The novel was launched amid much fanfare with Bollywood stars and wealthy industrialists in attendance, a reflection of Dr Pachauri’s esteemed status in the country.

In breaking news, Vivid Entertainment has bought the film rights to the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report. They plan to give new meaning to the terms Working Group 1, Working Group 2 and Working Group 3. They promise to give “peer review” an entirely new interpretation.

Update: Anthony posted up the following trailer connecting the Love Guru to the Toronto hockey team.


103 Comments

  1. Dr Iain McQueen
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:28 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I’m speechless – again! Maybe Pachauri saw the end looming and has been preparing a new line of business. One has to admire the energy of the man, and the brass neck!

    • John From MN
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Reply

      If GlacierGate wasn’t enough to get him ousted from the top seat on one of the most powerful Organizations on Earth Soft-PornGate will with ease.

      Have you read the newest IPCC study? It questions if “Viagra” does indeed cause a Mental Break-down. The study included the Chairman Dr Pachauri as proof postive it does…..John

  2. Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:32 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Steve you do realize this will bring a whole new meaning to “Hide the Decline”?

    • snowmaneasy
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Reply

      What I want to know is it peer reviewed ?

    • philh
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Hilarious!

      • El Cid Vacations
        Posted Aug 26, 2010 at 2:09 AM | Permalink | Reply

        LOL!

  3. Sean Inglis
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:36 PM | Permalink | Reply

    All according to plan. This is Pachauri falling on his (pork) sword.

    I’ll take my snip like a man.

  4. Michael Jankowski
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:38 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Any truth to the rumor that the term “hockey stick” is going to be replaced by “Sanjay’s shaft?”

  5. Steve McIntyre
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:42 PM | Permalink | Reply

    The film version is said to be featuring the newest male porn sensation, Al More.

  6. justbeau
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:44 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Return to Al Gore?

  7. philh
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:46 PM | Permalink | Reply

    The Times headline calls him the world’s most powerful “climate scientist.” As has been pointed out ad infinitum, he is not a climate scientist. He is a railroad engineer. And, apparently, a raconteur.

    • Dr Iain McQueen
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 2:06 AM | Permalink | Reply

      To philh
      I like the ‘raconteur’! You remind us it is not his first story and imaginative piece of writing! Much that is ‘robust’ in this latest fiction sounds engaging. (I haven’t read it!)

  8. justbeau
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:48 PM | Permalink | Reply

    How can the EPA base its regulation on IPCC work, when the IPCC seems to be headed by a soft corn porn novelist?

  9. dp
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 10:49 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I checked my calendar – it’s not April 1. If it were not so serious it would be laughable. These nutters want to spend trillions? I’d like to opt out.

  10. TAC
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 11:09 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Apparently he’s got quite a gift. Still, is it wise for Dr. Pachauri to quit his day job?

  11. justbeau
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 11:09 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Pachauri’s drivel reflects highly on Yale’s intellectual standards:
    http://opa.yale.edu/news/article.aspx?id=6482

  12. Anthony Watts
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 11:29 PM | Permalink | Reply

    The way this is going, Pachy may be in commercials with Phil soon.

    New slogan for Viagra: “Hide the decline”

  13. geo
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 11:32 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Ahh, those Canadians always get back to hockey as their touchstone eventually, don’t they? :)

    • lad
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:55 AM | Permalink | Reply

      So does Michael Mann get a penalty for stickhandling?

  14. Michael Jankowski
    Posted Jan 30, 2010 at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Reply

    So is “Hansen’s bulldog” going to instead be “Hansen’s fluffer?”

    The jokes are endless.

  15. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Reply

    check out the personnel.

    http://www1.ipcc.ch/about/ipcc-secretariat.htm

    hmm. that’s all. nudge.

    • Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 10:48 AM | Permalink | Reply

      yes it’s a handy job Dr Pachauri has a secretarial pool so close to hand. Blow me if you don’t need an “Outreach Officer” and “Outreach assistant” in such a hard job with such stiff demands on your time

  16. Skip Smith
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Possible sequel titles:

    The Nature Trick
    Hide The Sausage
    Denier? It Nearly Wrecked Her!
    An Inconvenient Tool
    FOIA: Feel Our Inviting Asses
    FOIA 2: Climate Boogaloo

  17. Jimchip
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:06 AM | Permalink | Reply

    When the CRUtapes hit Steve Mc said, “Unbelievable”. Mosher, et al, worried it was a hoax. I have to agree again… “You can’t make this stuff up.”

  18. Skip Smith
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Oh yeah, and:

    Glacier-Gate: The End of Frigidity

  19. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:11 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Gosh that is hilarious! Don’t want to get vulgar so I’ll leave it at that.

  20. Jimchip
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:25 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Breaking Pauchari news

    Controversial climate change boss uses car AND driver to travel one mile to office

    How long does it take them to go one mile? Are those windows tinted? Is that a picture of the LoveMobile?

    • Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 6:34 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Re: Jimchip (Jan 31 00:25),

      Maybe him and Al Gore can share a ride?

      Mind you, given what he has just written there could be hidden meaning to that phrase…

      • Jimchip
        Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Reply

        Re: keith (Feb 1 06:34),

        I rarely think about this kind of stuff but now I wonder what Santer really meant when he said he wanted to get a couple in a dark alley.

  21. Johnjoe
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:51 AM | Permalink | Reply

    This is too funny. :)
    You could not make it up… but somehow they do!
    Looking forward to your review Steve! ;)

    • P Gosselin
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Reply

      We’re talking about people here who have proven their skills at making things up. Though I’d say writing cheap softcore is not at all that difficult. You just have to use a lot of adjectives, something that wouldn’t amuse the adjective-dislikers in this forum.
      All in all, I’d have to say Mann’s rewriting of history is intellectually a more impressive piece of junk than Pachauri’s softcore trash.

  22. deadwood
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 1:33 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Now come on folks. You just being mean to old Patchy. I’m sure there is a rational explanation for all this.[/sarc]

  23. Anand Rajan KD
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 1:42 AM | Permalink | Reply

    It is all very robust!

  24. MarkF
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 2:36 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Reminds me of a 70s porn flick, “Deep Sleep”, in which one of Patchy’s countrymen ran a sex clinic. My favorite line about 69, better known as “you go dis way, I go dat way”. Slow to start, but it guru on me….

  25. Antony
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 2:44 AM | Permalink | Reply

    This will not go down well in Indian government circles, nor in the media, nor with much of the public. Pachauri may lose his last Indian supporters in the “green” NGO’s this way.

  26. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 2:53 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Is Susan, the partner with the heaving breasts, Susan Solomon?

    • Geoff Sherrington
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 3:14 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Steve, ah-eeer “You can’t make this stuff up.”

      Do you mean that to read ‘You can’t make the “stuff up”‘ because he just did.

      • Geoff Sherrington
        Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 3:16 AM | Permalink | Reply

        Lubos, no it’s Susan Hormones.

  27. MarkF
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 3:29 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Adventures in the UVic Anthro lab – “she came like a whole wave of ICBMs…”

  28. Atomic Hairdryer
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 4:21 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Denuded mountain slopes of Nainital? Never met the lass, but denuded mons threaten a reduction in biodiversity, particularly amongst Phtiridae if this rampant deforestation does not cease.

  29. alain G.
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 5:24 AM | Permalink | Reply

    This is so funny, just unbelievable!
    I have been following you guys for a few months now and this one tops it all,
    Pachauri the love guru! I have been laughing for 15 minutes now.
    This whole climategate thing is getting funnier and funnier everyday, a gigantic science-fiction joke.
    Next year literature Nobel prizes should definitively go to Pachauri for both its new book and the Ipcc report.

  30. Dr. Ross Taylor
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 5:27 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Perhaps this was Dr. Pachauri’s (putative) warm period. Is there no end to his talents?

    However, he as some way to go before he reaches the dizzy heights of Updike in bad sex in fiction:

    “Standing with her [Isabel] in the warming waterfall, soaping her skin so its yielding silk was overlaid with a white grease, and then letting her soap him [Tristão] in turn, he felt his cashew become a banana, and then a rippled yam, bursting with weight.” (Updike, Brazil)

    • Jimchip
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Re: Dr. Ross Taylor (Jan 31 05:27),

      Pachauri didn’t do the original research on bad sex fiction. When one looks at the addenda and commentaries on “Return to Wizard Mountain” I bet one will find Updike listed as part of the peer-reviewed literature. I was looking at some EPA/IPCC documents regarding coastal impacts and found a ref to “Port Noise Complaints”. I want to FOIA the correspondence… Were they discussing ‘cooling it down’ or ‘heating it up’?

  31. Wayne Richards
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 6:20 AM | Permalink | Reply

    More World Wildlife Fun?

  32. charles the moderator
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 6:36 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Pachuri’s ten cc’s of fame?

  33. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:06 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I am a bit taken aback by the apparent lack of insight that most men want to have sex with women. Some even dare to write novels about it. Good job!

    Now what on earth is the relevance of this to auditing climate science?

    • Dr. Ross Taylor
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:21 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Oh c’mon Mikael, don’t be such a Grinch- everyone needs a bit of light relief now and then- if you follow Steve’s blog you know he is nothing if not as sincere, objective and full of integrity as any man can be.
      snip – policy

      • Mikael Lönnroth
        Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 8:49 AM | Permalink | Reply

        Sorry for being the Grinch :), and yes, fun is essential for a lot of things. But seriously, deriding the man’s work as IPCC chairman based on the fact that he has written a novel is just.. strange. I’m sure there are enough real issues that speak for or against him?

        • Dr. Ross Taylor
          Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:03 AM | Permalink

          Cheers Mikael, I unreservedly retract my Grinch allegation. You are quite right of course, and I am sure that no-one here would dismiss the work of Dr. Pachauri on the basis of this novel alone. It is merely part of a pattern of behaviour and apparent gross errors of judgment and conflicts of interest that make it extraordinary. You are also quite right on your observations on human nature. Gladstone, I believe, was notorious for his, em, libido

    • jae
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Reply

      In politics, perception really is reality. So I would offer that Pach-man is not very smart, to say the least.

  34. Dave
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:13 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I noticed Ed Milliband has weighed into the debate with his regurgitated tuppence. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1247459/Ed-Miliband-declares-war-climate-change-sceptics.html

    Would it be unkind to suggest that he’s just saying that because he thinks it’s the ‘in’ thing to do amongst people who will shortly lose their jobs?

  35. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:19 AM | Permalink | Reply

    This is just the summary for policy makers. The full report is yet to come.

  36. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:45 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Spitting Image would have had a field day with this…

  37. Bruce
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 8:05 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I often stay in a very nice gated Asian neighborhood like Pachauri’s with national figures. Given the congestion and filth outside the neighborhood’s wall, the Toyota and driver (a few dollars per day) make sense for my wife and kids, reduces parking problems, driving risks, as well as wear and tear, too. Pachauri presumably should have his own car slot at work, no parking issues that require a driver to operate in “circle mode”. But I usually walk the mile.

    The Asian drivers are often used for longer distance rendezvouses or retrievals for or after lunch, but most of the wealthy guys don’t try to write “My Secret Life” knock offs about it.

  38. Dr. Ross Taylor
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 8:32 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Perhaps this book sheds light on the slightly bizarre end to the recent interview in Science by our dear friend:

    “R.K.P.: Well, it’s a long haul, it’s going to be a tough job, and I took it because it’s a tough job and I am doing it because it’s a tough job. And somebody has to do it. I have that responsibility: I will do it. And I am certainly not going to relent in these efforts, I can assure you.

    Q: Pleasure speaking to you. Thank You.

    R.K.P.: I have to hug you! [Gives interviewer a bear hug.]”

    hmm, I think I’ll pass on that hug….

    http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/327/5965/510/DC1

  39. P Gosselin
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 8:52 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Pachauri is perhaps confusing warming under bed sheets with warming of Himalayan glacial sheets.

  40. Anand Rajan KD
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:11 AM | Permalink | Reply

    The more powerful people in India – the likes of Mukesh Ambani, Prannoy Roy and Ratan Tata – who are apparently in Pachauri’s corner today will turn a blind eye to this. It’ll probably be like ‘art’ to them, if they read the whole book. The reviews are calling it a ‘spiritual potboiler’ after all.

    The man on the street would certainly be displeased that this 70-year old man is writing about group sex all the while claiming that he did not have time to check facts that the glaciers are not melting.

    • Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 3:07 PM | Permalink | Reply

      Can’t speak for Roy, and Ambani seems to thrive on controversy, but I wouldn’t be so sure that Tata will appreciate this…

  41. Dave Dardinger
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:16 AM | Permalink | Reply

    You’d really think this thread could have been put off a week or two to when it would be more appropriate. Or is the purpose of all this to boost Pachauri’s sales in the run-up to Valentine’s day?

    Anand Rajan KD (Jan 31 01:42),

  42. Robinson
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:25 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Honestly, this is insane.

    The man is a shameless embarrassment!

    And then he goes and writes a book like this?

  43. Craig Loehle
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:44 AM | Permalink | Reply

    India is not a country known for tolerating “romance” in the media. Indian movie stars have been arrested for kissing. Kama sutra or not, publishing a book that is practically autobiographical and is so frisky in India is to risk quite a lot. Just like attacking home-grown scientists with his “voodoo science” quote, which got him lots of bad press. risky business.

  44. You know who
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:45 AM | Permalink | Reply

    But there’s no time to write papers. And look how many comments you are getting! Maybe you should run pictures of icicles on orange trees like “Anthony”.

    And don’t give me any crap about how I need to comment on the “substance” of this post rather than that you posted it.

    This is trash.

  45. Feedback
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Reply

    The science is bedded.
    It is now immoral to doubt.

  46. Sharon
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I wonder, did he thank the Bushies for their firm support?

  47. David Longinotti
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Sensational fiction! Oh, perhaps OT – I was referring to the IPCC report.

  48. justbeau
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Dr. Pachauri felt so alive, staring at her bodice. They are as enormous as the Himalayas, he thought. Too splendid to be hidden by a bra of white. Before his hot gaze, the glaciers seemed to melt away.

  49. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Reply

    <a href="http://climateaudit.org/2010/01/30/return-to-almora/#comment-218692"You know who, Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    But there’s no time to write papers. And look how many comments you are getting! Maybe you should run pictures of icicles on orange trees like “Anthony”.

    And don’t give me any crap about how I need to comment on the “substance” of this post rather than that you posted it.

    This is trash.

    Old proverb: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”

    Cite: Wiki: “Its meaning is that without time off from work, a person becomes bored and boring.” First recorded thousands of years ago by the Egyptian sage Ptahhotep in 2400 B.C. The familiar modern saying appeared first in James Howell’s Proverbs in English, Italian, French and Spanish (1659)

    See link for additional history and usage in contemporary works.

    .

  50. Dr. Ross Taylor
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Reply

    The catchphrase of the English comedian, Dick Emery, was “ooh you are awful….but I like you”. Now deceased, bless him.

  51. John From MN
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Reply

    I always thought IPCC had the terminology wrong on a few things.
    Himalayan- Is really “He’s a layin”
    Nobel Peace Prize- Is Noble “Piece” Prize
    Hockey Stick- Is just a pill a day away ….Bawaaahaaaa
    Hide the decline- Is really a commercial for “Viagra”
    After Peer Review- The Consensus Is “Pachauri” really is not that good :~(
    Pachauri’s Next Climate Book- “Let’s Get Hot and Bothered Together”

    After that Book Comes
    “Sixty Nine Ways to Melt a Himalayan Glacier”
    “Viagra Does May Cause Mental Incapacitating Tendencies”
    And finally the tell all book…….Drum Roll Please….
    “Michael Mann is Hot” by Chu-Chu Pachauri

  52. justbeau
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:03 PM | Permalink | Reply

    This could be a tipping point. Most folks must agree the evidence is “overwhelming.” Dr. Pachauri may experiencing a post-mid-life crisis.

    • justbeau
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:09 PM | Permalink | Reply

      There are much worse things that a human being can do than write a silly smut book.
      But its not a serious-minded, credible thing to do, if you happen to be the head of a global climate panel.

      The United Nations did not entrust Hugh Hefner or Larry Flynt with the responsibility for orchestrating the scientific case for saving the World. Even if such gentlemen could have done just as fine a job as Dr. Pachauri, many nations and people would have found it questionable. This helps illustrate the public relations problem posed by Dr. Pachauri’s new book.

  53. PeterS
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Reply

    The pen is more robust than the hockey stick.

  54. Dominic
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Seems he was too busy warming someone else’s globes.

  55. Kenneth Fritsch
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 1:22 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I believe the relatively younger people who post here are missing something that only an older gentleman, like yours truly, could observe about, Rajendra Pachauri’s (Randy) problem with recollection of the glacier disappearance (and of replies in recent interviews) and the details of his semi-auto biographical novel.

    Randy’s situation is explained by going the peer-reviewed literature and looking at the differential effects of long and short term memory on aging humans. Yes, Randy (assuming he was not using a ghost writer like, for example, Tiger Woods) has sufficient long term memory to remember the details of activities, in which he may have engaged in years past, to describe them in detail in current time and at the same time have a problem remembering the details of his recent offerings to the media.

    An alternative explanation relating these recently exposed features of Randy could be that Randy was distracted in imagination and perhaps in reality with the details disclosed in his novel and that is what caused his failures to remember the details of recent interviews – but I doubt it.

  56. justbeau
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 2:22 PM | Permalink | Reply

    If you are Randy Pachuri and you feel inspired and compelled to write a bodice-ripper, why would you do this under your own name? Why would you show up for book publicity appearances?

    There seems a strange and massive disconnect between the troubling serious claims of Gore, Hansen, and Randy, that the earth’s very fate hangs in the balance and my baby has a fever, versus bodice-ripping drivel.

    The drivel is not appropriately supportive of the dire claims of the Alarmists. Randy’s authorial porn is not reflecting well on his cause (Alarmism), toffee-nosed employers (Yale University and the United Nations), or on members of the Drones Club (e.g. the Prince of Wales).

    Dr. Randy Pachauri’s self-initiated, self-indulgent risque writings are help tip the subject of Global Warming into epic farce, on a global basis.

    • justbeau
      Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Reply

      I need to step back and collect my bearings.

      1. Global Warming advocates claim the IPCC does great work. Everything is peer reviewed and correct.

      2. The USEPA outsources doing its own evaluation of the topic of Global Warming to the IPCC. It relies on Dr. Pachauri’s claims about the integrity of IPCC processes.

      3. The IPCC reports are actually riddled with absurd claims like the glaciers of the Himalayas will disappear within the next couple of decades.

      4. Dr. Pachauri has acknowledged financial conflicts of interest. The IPCC has no conflict of interest rules.

      5. And now Dr. Pachauri has come proudly prancing out of the closet to publish porn.

      Its getting a little weird.

      • justbeau
        Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 4:23 PM | Permalink | Reply

        Porn-gate is only the latest fiasco. However, its importance owes to its accessibility to the general public. Its nothing about science, rather it helps illustrate flaws within the UN’s IPCC process.

        And it cannot be blamed on “hackers” or non-peered reviewed work. Instead, porn-gate is the deliberate choice of Nobel peace prize co-winner Dr. Pachauri. The general public will understand, this chap is not a reliable guide.

        Overall, Global Warming owes to unsound interpretation of data and the selective use of atmospheric “science” for political purposes. Porn-gate only helps as one clue to illustrate these much broader points.

      • PhilH
        Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Reply

        This guy has to be the living embodiment of the aphorism that power is the best aphodisiac.

        • PhilH
          Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 10:54 AM | Permalink

          Sorry. That should be “aphRodiasic:” I think.

  57. Acton Now
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 6:45 PM | Permalink | Reply

    The diagnosis just has to be Tinea CRUris.

  58. Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 7:00 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Awwww … let’s be fair, folks … RKP is merely following the advice of Mike Hulme:

    “We need to ask not what we can do for climate change, but to ask what climate change can do for us.”

    And:

    “Because the idea of climate change is so plastic, it can be deployed across many of our human projects …”

    And:

    “We will continue to create and tell new stories about climate change and mobilize them in support of our projects.”

    http://hro001.wordpress.com/2010/01/30/propping-up-very-tarnished-gold-standard-of-ipccs-plastic-climate-change/

  59. MJW
    Posted Jan 31, 2010 at 8:30 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Dear Nature Forum:

    I had always assumed the incidences related in Nature Forum correspondence were either greatly embellished or fictional. Recently, however, an event transpired that caused me to reconsider that assumption. While attending a symposium at the Copenhagen climate conference, I was introduced to an attractive female post-doctoral student….

  60. tonygpc
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 1:57 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Does this mean that climate change really goes back to the big bang!

  61. Roger Knights
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 2:11 AM | Permalink | Reply

    We’ve reached a tupping point.

    Hotties with Hooters
    are Hot to Trot
    with Globe-Trotting Goobers
    who Flog that they’re Hot

    Around the World in 80 Lays

    He looks the part of a Satyr.

    So “climactic science” wasn’t a typo!

    Is this his pickup line?:
    “They don’t call me “Choo Choo” for nothing, baby.”
    W00T!

    He DID promise us things would get steamier!

    We can be sure his friction fiction was “leer reviewed.”

  62. Roger Knights
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Reply

    “The heat is in my pipeline, baby — yowsa!”

  63. Tolz
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Perhaps Steve should do a more formal review of Pachauri’s book on a new blog: Climax Audit.

  64. HectorMaletta
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Writing and reading such hot stuff may well make a perceptible contribution to global warming.

  65. mike roddy
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 8:13 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I gotta hand it to you, Steve, this one is funny.

  66. SD
    Posted Feb 1, 2010 at 10:03 PM | Permalink | Reply

    First Glaciergate.

    Then cringingly awful novel suggesting the man was not fully weaned.

    Embarrassed to be Indian today.

    • Dr. Ross Taylor
      Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 7:09 AM | Permalink | Reply

      Don’t be, your presence here vouches for that. Imagine how it feels to be a British academic after Climategate? Shiver. Especially when dear Kenneth Clarke chose East Anglia University as his source of optimism on the future of the young in the final episode “Heroic Materialism” at the end of his epic series “Civilisation”. I watched it again recently to check my facts, and yes, there is was, the brave new world of East Anglia University. I’m glad Kenneth is not around to share my embarrassment.

  67. crosspatch
    Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 2:36 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Bet I can guess Pachauri’s passowrd at RC! :)

  68. SD
    Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 4:37 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Surely Patchy must now be the most powerful climate – wink – scientits.

  69. Kevin
    Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 8:59 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Where does Pachauri find the time to lead the IPCC, work the carbon trading deals, globe-trot, have liaisons, and write books, let alone read any?

    Let’s not forget to be inclusive:

    The Devil in Phil Jones

  70. Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Reply

    Did he take the bus and slum it in sandals on this tour round India, Peru and the US?

    Or was it the usual jet in, limo, 5 star hotel and gourmet food UN IPCC thing!

    I’m surprised the book wasn’t a Vedgetarian cook book with a Chapter devoted to Meat and the menace of Methane.

    But it’s good to see he’s getting his (fictional) oats.

  71. P Solar
    Posted Feb 2, 2010 at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Reply

    I can see tomorrow’s headline in the Daily Mail:

    Dr Randy Pornstori accused of sexing up climate warming dossier.

  72. Anand
    Posted Feb 7, 2010 at 2:55 PM | Permalink | Reply

    Gives a different meaning altogether to the phrase – Climate “change”

    Guess who paid for Pachauri’s glittering book launch ceremonies:

    British Petroleum!

    You might wonder how a book about a climate researcher’s spiritual journey gets a launch party in New Delhi from big oil. Hidden inside this Telegraph piece are the details.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/7177323/Climate-change-research-bungle.html

    “It has also emerged that Teri’s biggest single sponsor, BP India, … paid for dinner and drinks at an event publicising Dr Pachauri’s debut novel.”
    It adds:

    A BP spokesman said it was entirely legitimate to fund the dinner, the company having enjoyed a “long association with Dr Pachauri”.

    What kind of ‘associations you might wonder? They are helpful…

    “He confirmed that the firm gave Teri $9.5million (£6.1million) between 2006 and 2009 for planting 8,000 hectares of jatropha, a type of bush, as part of a bio-diesel research project.”

    Who else were at this glittering galaxy, you might wonder next. Take a look at this page:

    http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=150720&id=90519151541&ref=mf

    Note amongst the peculiarly long list of luminaries – given some of the content of the book – the following names:
    R.S. Sharma (Chairman ONGC) i.e of the Oil and Natural Gas Corporation India
    Sashi Mukundan (Country Head – India, BP Group of Companies) – the guy who footed the bill.

    Who paid for the book launch in Mumbai?
    HSBC.
    Again you might wonder why a big bank is supporting Pachauri lit? Going through the following may help. HSBC is heavily invested in climate change.

    http://www.hsbcnet.com/solutions/news/corporate/cc_bmark.html

    “‘Climate change is set to be one of the defining investment opportunities in the years ahead”
    Nick Robins, Head of HSBC’s Climate Change Centre of Excellence

    HSBC has sunk a healthy amount of funds through its Earthwatch ‘partnership’ ventures in India. Look at this document:
    http://www.earthwatch.org/europe/downloads/Our_Work/Earthwatch_HSBC_Climate_Partnership_Research_brief.pdf

    Inside you’ll find scientific initiatives such as:
    “Dendrometer bands. To monitor the effects of climatic variability on tree growth, dendrometer bands are attached to a subset of trees > 10 cm dbh, in each permanent sample plot…” – for the Western Ghat forests and others.

    If you are wondering how a smut novel leads to a bank that nudges dendroclimatology along, you are on the right track. If you find this cited in the next Assessment Report, dont be surprised. Pachauri might be an AGW advocate and HSBC might be in the AGW business, but how does funding a smut novel launch fit even this tortured scheme? Shouldn’t it show up bad on HSBC internal audits?

    Maybe we shouldn’t bother so much…

    Here’s Pachauri doing HSBC a favor, at a previous date, with his trademark fear-mongering:

    “Dr Pachauri cautioned that the world is moving towards a ‘climate vulnerable future’ and urged industry and business to ensure a ‘low carbon future’ without which all stakeholders will be in trouble.”

    http://bcsd.teri.res.in/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=161&Itemid=211

    Who were present at the Bombay (excuse me while I eschew the term ‘Mumbai’) book launch?
    Naina Lal Kidwai – CEO HSBC India, the main sponsor.
    Indu Shahani – Educationist, Sheriff of Bombay and member of the audit and corporate governance committee of HSBC
    Rahul Bose – Actor

    I posted previously wondering how Rahul Bose got there. Not unlike Hollywood actors, there are many in mainstream and alternative Indian cinema who feel strongly about the environment. Rahul Bose is one, too. Apparently Pachauri ran into him at Copenhagen and got him to agree to turn up at the book launch.

    http://www.dnaindia.com/lifestyle/slideshow_novel-approach_1332818

    If you think you’ve had enough of Pachauri, here’s the green governor of California remonstrating to Indians to clone Pachauri!
    http://blog.taragana.com/e/2010/02/05/clone-pachauri-great-fan-schwarzenegger-suggests-to-india-88037/

    Those of you who thought this was a harmless event about a book which is good for a few laughs, please think again.

11 Trackbacks

  1. By Love Hurts « the Air Vent on Jan 30, 2010 at 11:25 PM

    [...] At Climate Audit — The IPCC’s Love Guru [...]

  2. [...] http://climateaudit.org/2010/01/30/return-to-almora/ In breaking news, Vivid Entertainment has bought the film rights to the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report. They plan to give new meaning to the terms Working Group 1, Working Group 2 and Working Group 3. They promise to give “peer review” an entirely new interpretation. [...]

  3. By IPCC’s Love Guru - homo homini lupus on Jan 31, 2010 at 5:51 AM

    [...] The IPCC’s Love Guru szu='http%3A%2F%2Fquadraturacirculi.de%2F2010%2F01%2F31%2Fipccs-love-guru%2F'; [...]

  4. [...] The UNIPCC’s love in, [...]

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  6. By The Blackboard » Pachauri’s Book on Jan 31, 2010 at 1:57 PM

    [...] January, 2010 (12:53) | politics Written by: lucia Since “everyone” (i.e. 1, 2, and 3) broke this story before me, I know you already know Pachauri has published a book many [...]

  7. By Kvikmyndaréttur á skýrslu on Feb 1, 2010 at 5:36 AM

    [...] The IPCC’s Love Guru [...]

  8. [...] roman werd overigens in het bijzijn van Bollywoodsterren gelanceerd. Steve Mcintyre heeft er nog een aardig filmpje bijgeplakt. Misschien wacht Pachauri een betere toekomst als Kama Sutra [...]

  9. [...] having at least 20 business interests that would profit from climate change laws. That and he just published a soft porn “fiction” novel about an aging climate scientist who travels aroun… (we can’t make stuff up this funny). Greenpeace UK is calling for him to [...]

  10. [...] Nobel Prize winner and IPCC lead Dr Pachauri has been busy writing porn novels, when not publishing … [...]

  11. […] Needless to say, SEJ are very fond of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and its “Nobel Laureate” peddler of purple prose Chair, Rajendra K. Pachauri. And I can’t imagine how they might have missed it, but SEJ’s search engine turns up zilch on “Almora” (as in The IPCC’s Love Guru). […]

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